The journey in pictures

The beginning - at just over 4 wks

At 6.5 wks we got to see that precious little heartbeat

At 9 wks I ran the Steamboat Half Marathon and visited every portapotty along the way...

and the next day we confirmed we still had a heartbeat...

and at 9 wks I was just starting to "pooch"

Still a skinny-minnie at 10 wks, but my clothes are starting to get uncomfortable

12 wks and the pooch is growing

13 wks and still fitting in my old tops but starting to need maternity bottoms

At 16 wks, baby is the size of an avocado... small enough to hold in my hand.

And the pooch continues to grow (16 wks)

17 wks in a shirt that accentuates the growing bump

18 wks at my Bradenton shower

19 wks from Elijah's view

20 wks in my pj's

20 wks we got to see our little angel again and found out it's a boy!

22 wks at Garden of the Gods

22 wks at the zoo

24 wks snapping pictures of myself in the mirror

At 26 wks my belly button is starting to pop

26 wks in pj's

At 30 wks I was preggopotamus for Halloween

My baby shower in Co Spgs was at 32.5 wk

At 35 wks using the timer on my camera while I cook dinner

At 36.5 wks we did a maternity photo shoot with a friend of Lindsey's

At 39.5 wks Jennifer came to visit and we took some pics at Garden of the Gods

Ash Logan is born 1/17/12 at 3:16pm and measures 19in & 7 lbs 8 oz.

We spent 24 hrs at the hospital recovering

Dressed and ready to head home and start our new life together

41 weeks...Hello, Ash Logan

There's a reason you didn't get a weekly update from me last week...I was a little busy last Tuesday. I'll warn you now, this story is LOOONG and detailed and will have some "eww, tmi!" moments, so read on at your own risk.

I'd been having Braxton Hicks contractions for weeks, and they were gradually getting stronger. We even thought they might be leading to something Sunday evening while I sat around with my parents who had flown in the day before. But Monday morning dawned and they'd died back down, so we went about our business. I felt a little crampy and had a little spotting, which Kari (my doula) said were indications of what was to come, but I knew it could still be days till delivery.

So that night we went to bed, and ... well, I'll leave out a detail or two here ... but shortly after we had laid down to sleep (around 11pm) I started having contractions. These were stronger and more painful than before, so I started timing them. They were every 3 minutes almost on the dot and so painful I got out of bed and went downstairs so my squirming wouldn't keep Josh awake. After almost an hour of timing them and what I thought was probably my water breaking, I texted Kari to let her know and she asked me a bunch of questions and said she'd come over. I came upstairs and sat through a contraction in our bathroom, and Josh heard me groaning and asked if I was ok. I told him Kari was coming, so he got up and dressed and ready for what was to come.

When she arrived shortly after midnight we spent a while downstairs keeping quiet so we wouldn't wake my sleeping parents. Then we moved up to the bedroom and labored for the rest of the night there. We tried a variety of positions - lying, sitting on the toilet, standing, showering...anything to try to be "comfortable". Kari encouraged me to try to eat, so I downed a handful of blueberries, but couldn't stomach anything else. As we reached the wee hours, I started falling asleep on my feet, so Kari had me and Josh lay down (i chose the floor b/c the bed was too soft) and she sat by me and encouraged me to rest/sleep between contractions. I had a brief, God-given lull of a few "gentle" ones in a row and so we all dozed off for 15 min or so. As the morning dawned, we moved back downstairs. Then my water broke in earnest and there was blood (normal) and a little bit of meconium (cause for mild concern), so Kari suggested we get ready to head to the hospital. Josh woke my parents to let them know and gathered last minute things, and out we went. I had become so dependent on Kari to get through contractions I begged her to come with us in our car. We got to the hospital and she came back with me while they checked my vitals and my cervix and propped me, and moved me to L&D where Josh joined us.

This portion of the morning is a little hazy b/c I was so exhausted, but I remember snippets like meeting my sweet nurse (Jessie). My parents arrived and shortly after my mom asked if she could come in. I said I didn't know, b/c at that point I just couldn't form an opinion about anything beyond what I was experiencing directly. She came and sat in a chair in the corner and I'm so glad she did. Eventually she was called over to help with something and became an integral part of my support team.

We tried a variety of positions in the hospital bed as well, some of which were more comfortable than others, but really nothing is comfortable when you're 12 hrs into labor. Around 11am I started to feel the urge to push. At first I was pushing weakly, and Kari helped me to figure out how to focus the pushes. A lot of the pushing I did was in the traditional position with Jessie holding my left leg up, Kari holding my right leg up, mom at my left shoulder and Josh my right helping me get into a semi-sitting position when the contraction built to peak pushing time. Through this time I was in a haze, Josh was lying his exhausted head down to rest between contractions, and I could only muster one-word sentences at most. I remember singing worship songs once when I felt so overwhelmed I didn't think I could go on, and I remember being frustrated with Ash for not being out yet. I also remember them laughing at me b/c I kept thanking everyone for everything, but I knew even in the midst of it that I needed every bit of help they were giving. Then Jessie had to grab her lunch, so Nurse Betty stepped into her spot. She was a sweet but strong older woman who came in and started being a coach (like in sports) - ok, push! 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10, deep breath, push! 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10, deep breath, push! 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. At first I thought I might kill her, but after she left I realized that I needed that kind of coaching to muster my strength at this point and asked Kari to be "bossy like nurse Betty". It became even more exhausting when the nausea kicked in and I started puking water and blueberry skins with each push. After much pushing in this position or slightly side lying variations, we decided to try all fours to see if we could get his head past my pelvic bone. Once I finished clearing all the puke from my gut, it was a "comfortable" position and it  worked to get him farther down. As I knelt and pushed, they came in and said I'd been pushing too long and when the Dr came in half an hour he'd want to start talking forceps or vacuum assistance. The thought of having to make that decision overwhelmed me and when we rolled back over, my urgent need to get Ash out before the Dr came and the progress we'd made on hands and knees came together to get him where he needed to be.

When the Dr arrived he started trying to stretch me as the baby crowned (i wanted to kill him it hurt so bad), but it became obvious that I was going to tear no matter what, and the tearing was likely to go frontward in a painful way. When Kari supported dr's decision to do an episiotomy, I agreed readily and glad I did when Kari explained later what she saw from her angle and how things would have gone. While contractions had been painful and exhausting, nothing matched the excruciating pain of crowning, and I distinctly remember his ears coming through. My dad remembers hearing lots of screaming from the hall, and I know I was but couldn't help it. Finally they told me I could wait for the next contraction or just muster another push or two on my own and he'd be here, so of course I pushed. Soon I heard the blessed words, "wait, we're at his shoulders" and "ok, one more push, no not that strong, and he's out". They laid him on me purple-grey, severely cone-headed and covered in blood and goo, and all I could feel was relief that it was over.

They took him from me after a few minutes to suction the meconium out of his stomach and weigh and measure him - 7 lbs 8 oz (before they removed a bunch of meconium and fluid from his stomach) and 19". We marveled at Ash's timing - born at 3:16 in room 316. The next couple hours we spent in L&D recovering and passing him around and Josh and I finally ate for the first time in 24 hrs. Daddy and Lindsey and Elijah finally came in from the hall. I was amazed at Elijah's concern for Aunt Nelly - you okay, Nelly? Finally they took us to the nursery for his first bath and vital checks and vitK shot. Then off to post-partum where we would stay the night. My parents stayed with me so that Josh could go home and sleep, then he returned in the morning so they could go home and nap. Then at around 4 pm on the 18th (24 hrs after delivery) we discharged and came home with our bundle of joy.

The week since he came has been a busy one, but that story will wait for another day as being a "dairy farm" is a demanding job and it's time for me to shower and get back to work. :)

Hello, due date!

Jennifer and I went to Garden of the Gods and had fun snapping some more maternity pics.  I posted a few on FB, but thought I'd include some here too.  These are unedited... she's going to go home and play with some of them.  It's like a free photo shoot :)

We just thought this was funny... especially the part about how the rocks could fall at any time. :)

Colorado is SO beautiful!

I can't believe how big this shirt makes my belly look!

Look, I match the curve in the rocks :)

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along : 40 weeks

Size of Baby : averages say ~20-21" and 7-7.5 lbs... the same avg #'s for babies at birth, since we're at that point now

Total Weight Gain : ~31 lbs... that may have something to do with the treats I've been sneaking despite my reflux b/c I just can't hold out any longer :)

Maternity Clothes :  Now that I'm not working and not NECESSARILY getting my clothes dirty every time I wear them (I'm still pretty clumsy tho), I'm wearing pretty much just two or three of my most comfy pairs of pants over and over again.  Nothing seems to want to stay up since my belly is SO round and pushing them down all the time.  My leggings are my most comfy but I only have maybe 2 tops that will cover my belly AND butt and I feel exposed if those two aren't completely covered.  But I spend all my evenings in my pj's, so comfort isn't often an issue :)

Best Moment This Week :  having Jennifer here was such a blast!!  We had a perfect balance of out & about time and couch time.  Two trips to Garden of the Gods and some good walking.  Two chick flicks - The Help and Crazy, Stupid, Love.  It was a short trip (really just 3 days) but really fun.  And I was pleased to have enough energy to keep up, even at 9 mos pregnant.

Gender : boy

Movement : still his usual, though I'd like him to start moving DOWN! :)  Honestly, I'm not surprised he's in no hurry... I was always a little late in making big life changes; why shouldn't my baby be the same way. :-D  I just keep encouraging him that he's going to love all the room he has to move out here!! :)

Food Craving : well, I did a stupid thing and went and bought mint oreos... which I've been snacking on consistently despite the reflux issues they can cause.  On the upside, I also bought blueberries (BOGO, even for organic!) and have been enjoying them with cereal or bananas or on their own.

What I Miss Most : same old - my pre-preg body.  I can't wait to be able to sleep on my stomach or move like I'm not a beached whale!!!

Sleep : I haven't been getting enough of it between company in town (aka staying up too late) and waking up so often.  I count myself lucky if I can make it 3 hrs straight w/o waking at any point in the night.  Now that I'm not working I can sleep in after Josh goes to work, but that doesn't seem to be making much of a difference in how rested I feel.

What I Am Looking Forward To : meeting this little joker!  I can't wait to HOLD him!  And at this point I can almost guarantee for certain that I'll be seeing him in 2 wks or less, and that's SO exciting!  (Less is better, buddy!!)  I also have an appt tomorrow, and I'm interested to lay out a plan for the next couple weeks... since I like to have ducks in a row and I can't do anything with my L&D ducks, at least I can know where my dr's ducks are :-D

Belly Button : outtie

Symptoms : all the same old ones.  Contractions continue to grow in intensity and frequency, but still nothing worth tracking.  I had one REALLY strong on the other day - stopped me in my tracks completely and hurt for real... but it was just ONE and one doesn't mean anything.  I can't wait to actually go into labor b/c that means we're getting somewhere more quickly.  I'm trying to be patient, and be grateful that I really do feel pretty good considering I'm 40 wks pregnant now, but I just can't wait to have this kid!! :)  So honestly, the biggest symptom I have now is impatience :-D  haha

39 weeks

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along : 39 weeks.  I know I say it every week, but I just can't believe we're here... I remember when I was counting from 16-20 and it seemed like we'd never even get to 20 wks, let alone 40 wks, and here we are just one week from 40.  Crazy.

Size of Baby : averages say ~19-22" and 6-7.5 lbs.   

Total Weight Gain : ~30 lbs... I seem to be holding pretty steady give or take a couple pounds (depending on the day or time of day) here at the end, which is good since I seem to have landed square in the middle of the 25-35 lb recommended weight gain.  I'm content with the #'s AND how I look and feel... haha, for a preggo at least.

Maternity Clothes :  Some of my maternity tops are getting too short to cover my whole belly.  This thing is getting out of control!! :)  I know it won't be immediately after giving birth, but I can't wait to rediscover my old wardrobe again. 

Best Moment This Week : I have really enjoyed the leisure of four day weekends with my hubs.  We were able to get all our "chores" done and still have plenty of time for relaxing on the couch. 

Gender : boy

Movement :  he's a strong kid, and even though everything I've read says he's supposed to slow down here towards the end, he doesn't seem interested in that.  I mean, sure, he naps throughout the day.  But when he moves, he MOVES.  I can't wait for him to come out and have room to move even more.  Do we have an early walker on our hands?  Will we be baby proofing sooner than expected?  Only time will tell....

Food Craving : Chocolate of course.  I have a couple chocolate goodies packed in my hospital bag to snack on after he's born and have added Double Stuff Oreos to the grocery list for after Ash.  :)

What I Miss Most :  my old body and all the things that went with it.

Sleep : Josh has been on prednisone again/still, so we've had some rough sleep lately.  As far as pregnancy sleep goes, I've ditched the body pillow since my belly is big enough now not to need to be propped up at all and have started sleeping with a small throw pillow between my knees.  I kinda like the freedom and extra room.  I'm still waking every 2-3 hrs to pee or roll over to relieve pain in my hips.  But overall, when I can sleep, I'm sleeping pretty well.

What I Am Looking Forward To : tonight we pick up Jennifer at the airport.  She'll be staying the rest of the week, which will be fun.  I plan to do a lot of active stuff with her (walking at GoG, Manitou, etc), so hopefully we can jump-start this labor thing... b/c we all know what I'm looking forward to most is meeting my son, and waiting isn't getting any easier.

Belly Button : outtie.

Symptoms : reflux, general aches, fatigue, pelvic/hip pains...same old.